Spoon Theory

Posted on 19/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

You may have seen people saying things on social media like: “I ran out of spoons.” or “Sending you extra spoons.”

And maybe you thought that this sounds strange and like some insider joke. Actually, it isn’t a joke. In fact, it’s something rather serious that’s being communicated in a joking way.

You see, spoon theory describes the realities of life for chronically ill people or people with low energy.

The whole idea goes back to Christine Miserandino who is suffering from Lupus. She coined the term “Spoon Theory” when she tried to explain to a friend how that illness affects her life.

All attempts failed, until she grabbed all spoons from their table and some from other tables (they were out for lunch), handed them to her friend and declared that the number of spoons represented the energy she has available for the entire day. And then she explained how simple, every-day tasks cost a spoon each – because they take energy, thought and planning for someone who is ill.

Her friend soon ran out of spoons, even though her hypothetical day wasn’t over yet.

And that experience brought home the fact that many people in our society need to be careful of how they spend their energy, because the supply is limited. It means they have to make choices – and sometimes that means not seeing friends or not looking their best or missing deadlines or simply not being online.

So now you know what it means when someone talks about spoons and running out of them. And please don’t judge them.

Read the original article here: The Spoon Theory

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HSP

Posted on 16/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock
Aron, The Highly Sensitive Person

E.N. Aron, The Highly Sensitive Person

HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person, a term coined by Elaine N. Aron in 1996 (that’s the cover of her book over there). And at the core, it simply means we have a highly sensitive nervous system, compared to “normal” people.

About 15-20% of a population are HSPs. That number may surprise you, because a lot of our society is about noise, constant distraction and exciting entertainment. And it doesn’t fit HSPs at all.

That sensitive nervous system actually gives HSPs an advantage in some things. According to Aron, HSPs are:

– better at spotting errors and avoiding errors
– highly conscientious– able to concentrate deeply
– especially good at tasks requiring vigilance, accuracy, speed and the detection of minor differences
– able to process material to deeper levels of what psychologists call “semantic memory”
– often thinking about our own thinking
– able to learn without being aware we have learned
– deeply affected by other people’s moods and emotions

And our bodies react differently, too. We’re :

– good at holding still
– more affected by stimulants like coffeine unless we’re very used to them
– more “right-brained” (less linear, more creative in a sythesizing way)
– more sensitive to things in the air (yes, that means more hay fever and rashes)
(“The Highly Sensitive Person”, pages 10/11)

And of course, there is a downside to all those goodies.

We get more “excitement” out of given situations that most people.

Too much excitement is unpleasant. It can gives us a headache, make us shake, get tired really quickly, and send us away from parties and crowds. It can totally sap away any energy we have, especially because we sense moods so easily.

Personally, I have to schedule how many difficult things I do in a day, and how many people I meet. I no longer watch TV, for example, because even the news were too much at times. And when I want to follow a show, I can’t ever binge watch. A single episode can leave me drenched in sweat. (Which means I usually don’t bother with shows, either.)

People often think we’re introverted because of that kind of behaviour. But that’s not necessarily true. It simply means we are careful about the amount of excitement we allow into our lives.

I think many, many writers are HSPs, btw. Because we notice so many things, we’re empathic, we think deeply, and we are creative. And usually, our books are about a little more than just entertainment. Think about it.

As Terry Pratchett said: “Writing is the most fun one can have by oneself.”

And just so you know… a day or two without any excitement can do wonders for us. So don’t be angry if we don’t come to your party. It’s not about you. It’s about protecting ourselves in a society that’s too loud, too intense and too exciting for our kind.

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My Bed is my Castle

Posted on 15/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

Today, I spent a lot of time in bed.

Yep, that lazy.

Except I had a good reason.

I’ve been fighting a nasty, lingering cold. And I was still frazzled from a week with many demands and actions.

And I decided that getting a lot of sleep and being in a comfortable, soothing and warm environment would be very good for me.

And it was.

If you’re worn down – go ahead and try it. Just curl up in your bed and give yourself permission to relax. It’s very, very soothing, and the surge in mood and energy is amazing.

Even my characters are talking to me again after that day in bed.

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The Thing about Energy

Posted on 14/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

Yesterday, I had no energy left to do more than think of blogging, and then disregarding the idea. Because it was a really busy day.

Now, you could argue that every day is a busy day for authors, and you’d be right. But for me, it isn’t writing or editing that zaps my energy.

It’s being out and interacting with people I don’t know, dealing with noise, crowds, things to organize and making on the spot decisions. It helps when people are nice (and they generally are), and it helps when I go out at a time when it’s less crowded. It also helps a lot when I’m familiar with where I’m going. But it’s still exhausting.

And to be honest, it has gotten worse with age. (Ahem.)

Now, there are at least two things at play, and I will talk about them more later on, beause I believe they apply to many, many authors:

  1. Spoon theory.
  2. HSP

For now, it is enough to say that it was another lesson about how far to push myself, how to schedule things better, and how to take better care of myself.

I can see a lot of naps in my near future. A LOT. Thank the gods it’s a long weekend.

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Some Thoughts About Magic

Posted on 12/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

As you know, I write fantasy. Which, of course, often contains magic. (Yes, there is magic in The Cloud Lands Saga. It’s just not very obvious.)

And I have argued often with other writers who insisted that I had to map out a magic system (often they were role players, too), or that I needed to finish creating my world before I could write stories in it.

I prefer a more relaxed approach.

You see, I like to step into my world and discover it through my stories. That is a never-ending adventure. After all, we’re still discovering new things right here on Earth.

And I’m the same with magic.

I like discovering what my characters can do – sometimes, they even surprise themselves!

I just think that magic has a price. Just like learning any skill has a price. And like doing anything with focus and concentration, magic takes energy. Big magic takes big energy.

You see, I like things simple.

And I trust my instinct for writing and world-building.

So go and enjoy magic, either by writing it or by reading about it. It does exist even here on Earth, in its own special form, after all.

 

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Musings on Birds

Posted on 11/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

It is pretty much accepted nowadays that birds evolved from a branch of dinosaurs. And that most dinosaurs had feathers. And that some of them were quite intelligent.

Personally, I think it’s fascinating.

You see, my family used to have geese. Geese are fairly intelligent, too. They certainly can distinguish between people and they very quickly learn routines and where they are safe.

The Canada Geese in our local park don’t panic when a small dog comes running. They barely move aside for people. They have learned exactly how safe they are, and what few dangers to avoid.

Corvids are among the smartest breeds of birds. And I love observing crows on my walks. They get really creative when it comes to getting food and having fun. In fact, I once watched a crow deliberately provoking a pair of seagulls and outflying them.

And yet…

To me, birds feel really, really alien.

I’m learning to read their body language. I can usually tell what geese are thinking by reading their movements and voice. I can recognize the calls of many, many bird species.

But they are alien.

Unlike mammals. There’s a kinship with mammals that I feel clearly.

It’s not there with birds. At all.

And deep in the back of my mind, that starts a “what if…?”.

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The Aware Author – Noise

Posted on 10/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

You may know by now that I walk to work. And in fact, I walk along a four-lane street, for about 2km. It’s safe, there is a perfectly good sidewalk that many people use, as well as a bike path.

But today, I focused on the sounds around me.

And as you can imagine, there is a lot of noise in such a street.

First, one notices the cars. But there are busses, trucks, bicycles and pedestrians, and they sound quite distinct.

A jangle to the left of me is a bike. The owner put the chain lock into a basket on the handlebars. Just behind her someone rides a bike with a loose cover rattling above the back wheel.

A deep, moaning sucking sound is a cleaning truck clearing the storm drains.

Then there’s the garbage truck, with the banging of the plastic garbage cans. And the rumble of the wheels on those large bins as they are dragged out of back yards and returned to their hiding places.

The wheezing woooosh is the pneumatic brake of a bus.

Steps behind me, hammering the flagstones. A man runs past, trying to catch the bus.

And suddenly – silence. No cars rushing by. For a few moments, I can hear a bird sing, a seagull scream. The rustle of the wind in the trees growing both on the middle particion, as well as on the sides of the street, in front of the houses. It lasts only a few seconds, then traffic is back.

Can you sense how rich that environment is?

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What to Write?

Posted on 09/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

It’s always a bit of a decision to choose what to write next.

Because while we want to tell stories that are fun to write, we authors also want our stories to be read and enjoyed – and even to sell!

So basically, we have to decide whether to write to market or write to joy.

At least that’s what people say, and they always pretend you have to be in one camp or the other. Because it’s either a career (work hard! struggle!) or a fun hobby (and you’ll never sell anything).

I think there can be a happy mixture of both.

For example, I decided to focus on dragons for a while, for two reasons:
1) I love dragons.
2) Dragons were selling rather well.

That made it easy.

But now that dragons aren’t selling that well anymore (at least from what I can see), I still want to finish my series. There are stories to tell, and they are fun. So yeah, I’m on it.
(Want to motivate me more? Buy one of my books. Or leave a review. *wink*)

And on the other hand, we know that sex sells. (Many, many books!)

For years, I thought I couldn’t write sex. Wouldn’t even try.

Until last year, when I thought: “Why the f… not?”
(Yes, that was intentional.)

And I ended up with a huge writing binge for over two months, and two rather promising series in erotic Romance/SF. Unfortunately, now I have to finish what I started and edit the whole stash. Somehow, that’s less fun.

But that’s still part of writing. And I’ll get it done.

PS: My friend Diane Patterson and I did an interview with Susan Kay Quinn about that very topic. Listen to it here:  23 – Susan Kaye Quinn and the indie author mindset

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The Aware Author – People

Posted on 08/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

Today, I walked through town, in brilliant weather. The first warm and beautiful Sunday morning.

And I observed people. I love doing that. I always learn more that I can use for my stories or characters. And I always give people at least some of my attention, if not all of it.

Many women smiled back at me. Some even greeted me, even though I didn’t know them.

Men were different. Some were drinking this early. Some were loitering and standing in the way of other pedestrians, oblivious to the fact. Some leered. Some were kind and smiled, too.

It was fascinating.

My impression:

More women are aware of their surroundings and the people around them than men. The women also react much more to what’s going on around them. Could be a survival instinct, even though women rarely get harassed in Germany. (No cat-calling.) That really is just an assumption.

Men seem to be more centered in themselves, to the point of being oblivious of who is walking near them. I don’t know if that’s true. I’m a woman. (Let me know if you have thoughts about that in a comment.) But men are definitely just as capable of smiling and reacting to someone as women are.

And a part of me would like to take this into a fantasy world and twist it. Not sure how. Just wanting to play with this and make readers share in my awareness.

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Introverted?

Posted on 07/05/2016 by Hannah Steenbock

I believe I’m an introvert. I love silence. I love connecting with people through the safety of my computer screen. I think silent reading meetings are a great thing. So are libraries.

And yet… when I meet someone who thinks like me, who enjoys the same things – writing, reading, stories, horses, role-playing, and whatever else – I can talk for hours. And love every minute.

Sound familiar?

Maybe I’m not introverted. Maybe I just need the right people. Maybe so do you.

Think about that. Because we humans are social creatures.

We need the right tribe.

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