You don’t know me – Joanna Steenen – yet, but I write erotic Romance, and I’m about to self-publish my first couple of stories. Now „erotic“ means explicit, so yes, I describe clearly what’s happening in bed in those stories. And I describe the feelings during the act.
Which is often considered „dirty“ or „disgusting“ or even „taboo“.
Part of me wonders if that’s because it can be so wonderful? I mean, isn’t orgasm wonderful? Delightful? Pure joy?
Medically, it’s good for you, too. It brings down blood pressure, for example.
So why is it considered dirty?
I believe it is the very level of enjoyment that causes this reaction. You see, Protestants and Calvinists believed that the world is a sad place by design. A dreadful place, intended to teach us humility and obedience to God. A lifelong test of our virtue.
And anything fun, beautiful or joyful thus must come from Satan, the enemy of God. So sex, arguably one of the most enjoyable things in the world, must have come from the devil. And thus it must be dirty, sinful and avoided, because that is what Satan is.
And the only way it can ever be allowed is as a joyless duty with the single purpose of procreation.
But what if they got it completely wrong?
What if sex, if orgasm is actually a gift of God?
A gift helping us to enjoy our physical shape while we’re down here on Earth. Maybe life down here isn’t about suffering at all. Maybe it is about love, being together, creating life together, in all possible manners.
Because here’s another aspect of sex: It is most delightful when both are enjoying it. Trusting each other, opening to each other. Then you can get the kind of mindmeld and bodymeld that is only possible through sex.
This is sacred connection.
And the only sin with sex – if we take this point of view – is to be disconnected from each other. Is to ignore the other, their feelings, their desire, their needs, and just taking pleasure for yourself.
Taking this thought to the extreme, rape is the ultimate sin, taking sacred sex and turning it into an egotrip.
What would happen if we consider sex to be sacred?
Something to be shared, created on purpose and enjoyed?
Prostitution would be a sin, too, because there is no mutual commitment. Rapists would be considered immature, egoistical criminals, and punishment would be severe. It could no longer be seen as „boys will be boys“ on a slightly bigger scale. It would be seen as betrayal of something sacred. (Which it should be even now!)
It might even change our society. If sex is no longer dirty and something to hide away, if gentle, caring connections with others were something to be absolutely desired – how would people change?
How would life be if we value our intimate connection to others above all?
I have no idea. I haven’t gotten that far, but I would certainly like to explore such a world.
What do you think?